Bolt the Robot

For grown-ups

What this story is about

Every child meets someone who is different: a classmate who speaks another language, plays in an unusual way, moves or talks differently, or simply does not get the joke. Laughing or walking away is easy. Curiosity takes a little practice. In this story your child chooses curiosity. An inventor next door teaches three small steps, your child uses them to understand a robot nobody else understands, and together they solve a problem neither could solve alone. Then your child passes the steps on to the children who laughed.

Three ways to talk about it

• Show curiosity yourself: when you meet someone new, wonder aloud, "I wonder what they like?" rather than "That's strange."
• Practise asking good questions at home: "What does that mean?", "How do you do it?", "Can you show me?"
• Notice and name kindness when it happens: "You waited and listened until she finished. That was kind."

Three questions to ask

• Why did the other children laugh at Bolt? How do you think Bolt felt?
• What did the child in the story do differently?
• Is there something you do in your own way? How would you like others to find out about it?

Practise the tool together: Ask, listen, try it their way

Teach it as three fingers. Ask: one friendly question ("What are you making?"). Listen: really wait for the whole answer, with eyes and ears. Try it their way: join in the way the other person plays before you suggest your own way. Play it at home with a game your child invents: you ask, you listen, you play by your child's rules. Then swap. Remind your child of the three fingers before a playdate, a new class or a visit to cousins.

If your child often finds it very hard to play with others, is left out again and again, or seems unhappy with friendships for a long time, it is worth talking to your paediatrician or a child psychologist.